


Helpless

by meltedheartofice



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hamilton References, Pining, Post-Frozen 2 (2019), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meltedheartofice/pseuds/meltedheartofice
Summary: She didn't like secrets.But this one?She was taking this one to the grave.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney), Anna/Kristoff (Disney), Elsa & Kristoff (Disney)
Kudos: 25





	Helpless

"Queen Anna of Arendelle, do you take Kristoff Bjorgman to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do!"

Anna would never forget the night she met the man she  _ thought _ would be her husband, and the man who would  _ actually  _ become her husband.

It had been Elsa's day, of course, and it's not like she had been trying to steal her sister's spotlight; no, Anna's feelings that day, her need for attention, had come from a sense of complete helplessness.

Throughout the bright light of the warm ballroom, the loud music, and the moments of laughter with her sister that she had always longed for, one thought wouldn't leave Anna's mind: this was her first and last chance to meet someone. It's strange how both right and wrong she had been about that night.

She was helpless from the moment she looked into Hans's eyes, and he must have noticed that, judging by how he tried to leverage her to his advantage.

Kristoff had made her feel helpless at first, too, but in a different way.

Here she was, alone, without a sister, without a horse, without a way to contact her fiance, having to rely on some smelly mountain man (who thought she was silly and incompetent) in order to get by.

How things changed. Now, when she looked into Kristoff's soft, brown eyes, she felt like she could do anything.

Anna pondered how nervous she had been about introducing Kristoff and her sister. After Hans, she had desperately wanted Elsa's approval of her new suitor. She figured that it would help that he wasn't asking for her blessing to marry Anna (at least, not yet!).

Elsa had made her way across the courtyard to meet Kristoff, with Anna wondering the whole way:  _ What is she going to do? _

She trusted Elsa enough to believe that her sister wouldn't freeze the whole kingdom again this time; that, at least, had gotten under control.

She hadn't even told Kristoff where she was taking him, not wanting to scare him off about the idea of meeting the queen.

"Queen Elsa…" he had said stiffly, giving an awkward sort of half-bow.

"Just Elsa is fine, thank you."

"Right! She's not just the queen, she's my sister! And I wanted you two to meet," Anna added, clasping her hands nervously. 

"I should also apologize for freezing the kingdom, endangering your business, and leaving my sister to accidentally ruin your sled," Elsa continued sheepishly.

"Well…" Kristoff said, blushing furiously, "Maybe that's what it took for me to meet Anna...so I guess it might have been worth it."

He tried to play it off as a joke, but Anna's "Aww!" and Elsa's knowing look between the two of them embarrassed him even more.

"Well...I'll leave you two to talk. I'll be right back. Bye!"

Elsa gave her a panicked look--her sister wasn't fantastic with meeting new people, but she was the  _ queen,  _ so she would have to get used to it--but they seemed to get along fine. Anna secretly watched and overanalyzed each action, worrying that Elsa wouldn't like him, or that he wouldn't like her, or that maybe he would like her better than Anna, but when she saw them finish up a conversation, she was hopeful.

She ran up to them and asked, "What did you two talk about?"

"Ice," they said in unison.

Now, Anna loved that her sister and new husband were so close, and just wished that she could find someone as good for Elsa as Kristoff was for her. She had jokingly offered to share him once, expecting a laugh, but she got more of a red-faced glare, and decided to leave Elsa's love life alone from then on.

_ After all _ , she thought, as her sister--her maid of honor!--got up to make the first toast:  _ I don't think there's any way either of us could be happier than we are right now! _

Kristoff was elated, too.

"I never would have believed this could happen. Me, without a dollar to my name, who grew up without a family--my father left, my mother died, I grew up buck wild--standing here, looking into your eyes. Anna, as long as we're together, I promise you'll never have to feel alone."

She looked into his eyes, helplessly in love, until their thoughts were interrupted. 

  
  
  


"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome our Queen Emeritus and Maid or Honor, Elsa of Arendelle."

  
  
  
  


While writing her speech for her sister and now brother-in-law, Elsa had thought all the way back to when the two had first met.

Everyone pretty much knew that she would regret that night for the rest of her life.

No one knew the full extent of it, though.

The thought would hit her when she least expected it: while she was in a meeting, or riding Nøkk, or writing a letter, or especially when she witnessed a sweet moment between her sister and the man she loved.

The man  _ Anna  _ loved. That was what she meant.

It was hard to imagine a reality in which the kingdom had never frozen, in which she had never frozen her sister's heart, in which the ice harvester had never entered their lives.

Sometimes, though, her heart ached for that reality.

_ What if Anna had never met him? _

Or worse... _ What if Elsa had met him first? _

From the moment she did meet him, she had a sense that Kristoff was different somehow.

He didn't look at her warily (like the monster that she had been), or with that overly polite reverence (like the queen she had been)...he had just looked at her like she was  _ human _ .

It was almost startling coming from anyone other than Anna (and at that point, the two sisters had barely reconciled).

It wasn't just because of her discomfort around people that she had panicked when Anna had left them alone. That wasn't why she had felt so awkward whenever Kristoff was around at first, and for a  _ long _ time, although she had been able to play it off that way due to her extended isolation.

She still thought back to that first meeting.

He had introduced himself as "Kristoff Bjorgman of, well, not really anywhere important."

She had cleared her throat.

"I know what you must think of me--seeing what you saw on the North mountain. And I don't blame you. But I never wanted to put Anna at risk."

"I know that. I don't think badly of you. I think you're...a little like me, actually," he finished awkwardly.

She looked up, somewhat startled.

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "I spent a lot of time on my own, too. Pushed people away. Anna  _ hated  _ me, at first, I'm sure of it. But you're not a bad person. People like us...me being so...huge and intimidating and smelly, and you being so...royal and intimidating and having amazing ice powers...it's hard to show people who you really are, sometimes," he rubbed the back of his head self-consciously, clearly worried he had overstepped. 

"Is that right?" She asked thoughtfully. She supposed it was.

"Your ice castle was amazing, by the way. I've never seen anything so magnificent! I almost cried! I mean, in a good way, and I didn't, actually, but you know…"

Elsa giggled, blushed, looked at the man, and wondered if she had ever seen anything so magnificent in her life.

And with that thought, she almost froze the kingdom all over again.

It hit her like a lightning bolt.

_ Calm down, Elsa. This is not ok. _

Luckily, Anna came back. She was so excited to hear what Elsa thought of him. She was so excited for open doors and no more secrets.

But now, Elsa had just one more to keep. She frequently made lists to justify why.

  1. She knew her sister better than she knew even herself sometimes--no one was as kind or trusting as Anna. If she had told Anna initially about the feelings she had for _Anna's new man,_ her sister would have bent over backward to make sure that Elsa wasn't uncomfortable--even if that meant losing Kristoff. Now, if she ever told Anna, it would destroy her sister. She had always trusted Elsa, and Elsa was enough of a screw up in that area already. Even though she no longer had to keep herself hidden to keep her sister safe, one thing had never changed: she loved Anna more than anything else in life, and would choose Anna's happiness over her own every time.
  2. She knew that, as the queen at the time, it was her responsibility to be certain about any possible suitor and his intentions. Developing feelings for any common citizen, even one _not_ courting her sister, would have felt like shirking her duties. It was different for Anna; and since she was already engaged when she became queen, there weren't as many questions.
  3. She knew that, like anyone, Kristoff probably interacted with her because of her status (with most people, her royal status; but for him, it was mostly her status as Anna's sister) and her ice powers. It wasn't as if anyone truly wanted to get to know her. Sometimes, she didn't even know _herself_ , with all of the roles she had occupied and the secrecy in her life.



But then, sometimes, she would look into his eyes and think,  _ what if?  _ And sometimes, when they were discussing ice or folklore or something else that made his eyes light up, she thought she could imagine seeing the same question there, too…

And then she would shake the thought from her mind.

She had tried  _ so hard  _ to shake these feelings.

They would never be reciprocated. After all, he was a good man--he would never look at another woman while courting her sister, and he was clearly devoted to her and head over heels in love. The knowledge of this only strengthened her admiration of his character, only drew her to him further, so her only option was to try to avoid them when the thoughts became unbearable. She was mostly able to play it off as giving them privacy, or wanting quality time with her sister. Really, it was just too difficult to be happy for them at times.

It wasn't as if it was  _ all _ a lie. After returning from Ahtohallan, feeling like she had found her place, feeling fulfilled, having a future away from the huge but so  _ horribly confining  _ castle and company other than her sister and the man that Anna loved and Elsa was secretly pining for...she had been genuinely happy for their engagement. She had been happy to hear Kristoff call her sister  _ the most extraordinary person he had ever met. _

But sometimes, at night, even in Northuldra, even as she excitedly helped to plan her sister's wedding and had written her toast…

Those warm eyes would pop into her head.

Or the way he had run at her when they had thought she was dead and found her alive.

Or the way he would look with awe at her ice creations.

She would wish that she could take  _ him  _ away from the confining, judgmental castle, knowing that he, too, was more comfortable in nature. In spite of their many differences, they had so much in common.

And then she would see her sister's eyes.

It wasn't as if he had nothing in common with her sister. After all, the two of them were so excited to have a family. With Elsa's power, and just her being  _ Elsa _ , she didn't even know if it were possible for her to have a future like that with  _ anyone _ .

And in her worst moments, much to her chagrin, she would think:  _ At least with him marrying Anna, I'll never lose him from my future completely... _

  
  


"It is my pleasure to be the first to toast the bride and groom. Anna, even though I've moved away, as your sister, I will always be by your side. It is so comforting to know that the two of you are here, your love giving hope to the whole kingdom…"

_ And _ , she added silently as they shared a loving glance,  _ only sometimes giving me despair. _

She kept her composure during the toast, even through the emotional memories about her sister, her tribute to their lost parents.

"...And I know you two will be happy together for the rest of your lives. I love you both."

_ And I myself may never love…but it is worth it to see her happy. _

_ To see both of them happy. _

**Author's Note:**

> I have not a single original thought. Props to the creators of Disney's Frozen, the amazing Lin Manuel Miranda, and the idea of limerence for inspiring this nonsense.


End file.
